The issue with Perfection

How many of us think about how things would be if we were only perfect? Of course we never are so we end up being disappointed. This month let's look at perfection and the problems we face because of that ideal.

I am not saying that we should just give up and not try. What I am saying is that when we use perfection as an excuse for not doing what we know we want to do we end up with nothing.

The idea of perfection is just that, an idea. We use that as a goal to strive for. However, if we are honest with ourselves that perfection is never there. When we don't achieve that ideal we are disappointed and after a while we give up. How sad that we stop trying for what we want because we cannot have the unavailable. Wouldn't if be far better to go for the best, the most excellent? That is attainable. Of course we have to get started to get there.

When we give presentations to others, whether in conversation or in front of an audience the idea is the same. You speak to your friends even if you know that you are not prepared. You don't worry that it will not be perfect. To speak at a job interview, in front of class or an audience is the same principle. What people listen to is what you are saying. If you believe in what you are trying to communicate then the audience will be with you.

Now I am not saying don't prepare for the interview or speech. What I am saying is relax and say what is important to you. The speech doesn't have to be delivered perfectly. Instead try for excellence.

When we strive for excellence we allow ourselves to be human. Admittedly admirable humans but human none the less. Stop using perfection as an excuse for not going for the job interview or giving the speech. Allow yourselves the human response of trying and going for what you want. If you fall short you at least have gone further than if you had not made the effort. It only takes a bit of extra time to prepare and go for excellence. If you go for perfection you will never get there. Ask yourself would you rather get there or spend your life wondering 'what if' because you were afraid of making the mistake. We all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them on our way to excellence not perfection.

Some ideas and questions to ponder.
1. What have you not tried because you were afraid of failing?
2. Make a decision to take one step toward that goal.
3. Allow yourself to learn from the movement toward that goal even if you fail.
4. Keep going!

Presenting yourself to the world.

This month we will look at how we physically present ourselves to the world. When growing up we were taught to be seen and not heard. Not to talk about ourselves for people would think we were egotistical. Now you are grown up and there could be nothing further from the truth.

If you have ever seen children playing they are totally truthful. They will tell you who they are and what they can do. We think it is charming. Children are not necessarily trying to be better than others they are simply being honest about who they are.

What a lot of us failed to learn is that being honest about who you are is not egotistical, it is simply being honest. Being egotistical is speaking about yourself as if you are better than others are. The truth of the matter is you are no better or worse than anyone else. In all honesty, there will always be someone better at you in somethings and you will be better than some in other areas. Things tend to balance out. You do yourself and the world a disservice when you lie about who you are.

Each of us should take the time to get to know ourselves;learn to like who and what we are. The great joy of being human is we can change what we do not like and improve those things we do like. It takes courage to really look at yourself and admit to your faults and approve your greatness.

In the grand scheme of life we all want someone to love, but I would suggest that we love ourselves. In fact we should care enough about ourselves to want and be the very best we can be. Too many of us spend our time comparing ourselves to others. The only person you have to compete with is yourself.

Identify with your character

When we speak in public, whether it is as an actor or speaker, it is necessary to identify with our character. When we are unable to connect with the audience it is usually because we are not connected with ourselves/characters. There is a truth that our listeners know and miss when not there.

How do you connect? Well, if you are taking on a completely different persona, you study their background, their tics and twitches. You find people who are similar and study them. When you feel that you have learned all you are able in the time allotted, you start to integrate that information into yourself. You identify and become that person.

If you are a speaker, then you have the advantage/disadvantage of being yourself. Why a disadvantage? Well if you can't identify with who you are and why you are doing what you are doing, then you are just faking it. Believe me, in the long run faking it will not carry you through. It becomes necessary to identify with yourself and your commitment to your topic.

For both the actor and speaker it is the passion you bring to your 'performance' that will ultimately bring you the satisfaction you are desiring. Identify with your desire/character/ subject and let that shine through. Then you are on your way to the destination you are yearning for.

Being Prepared

How many of us go through life just flowing the with currents. We say, "whatever" or " if it was meant to be it will be". While a great sentiment, in this business they really are just excuses. Face it, it you are not ready when opportunity arrives, then you probably just added time to your 'making it'.

I can hear you now. "You are being too tough" or "You can't control outcomes". I would say phooey on that.

Let's start with "You are being too tough". Come on! Do you want to succeed or not? Life is constantly offering you chances. Do you take them, or do you even see them? Say you are in line at the coffee shop. You are in your own little world, not even aware of what is around you. There are many chances to connect with people. It helps with what you know, but it really helps with who you know. I am not saying to connect with people just to use them, but I am saying that when you connect with others it moves you closer to your goal. You never know when the next person you meet is the one who, in there own way, helps you to take the next step in the direction you are trying to get to. So no, I am not being too 'tough'.

Moving on to "You can't control outcomes." Please, I know you cannot control others, but you can control the outcome. The outcome is how you perceive it. If you think you have failed, then you haven't learned a thing. Failure is simply the next step to success. Let's use the audition process as an example. You prepared, gave a terrific audition, but did not get the part. Did you fail. NO! You didn't get the part, but if you were prepared you have made additional contacts, learned what works or doesn't work in certain situations. You may even have impressed the auditioners so much they will remember you and maybe call you for something else. The key is to control how you see the events. Learn every chance you get.

So always be prepared. Be prepared to meet and connect with people. Enjoy the process of learning to get from here to there. When you walk out, plan to make an impression. I have found one of the best ways in life to get to where I want to go, is head in that direction and be prepared for the opportunities that present themselves along the way.

Following Direction on Set

I recently met with my friend Jack. During the course of our conversation we began talking about film. He had the 'good' fortune to be on the set while they were filming one of his scripts. As we spoke the conversation revolved around actor behavior while on set. We both have had and heard stories that would make you wonder how a person was ever cast. The following story I think is very telling: Read on

The director was filming a scene in which an extra with a small speaking part was not doing particularly well. It seems he kept over acting and not listening to the director. This went on for around five takes. After each take the director would give the actor his direction and they would shoot again. Finally the director turned to some of the crew. He asked "Did I give this actor direction?" The answer was Yes. The next question was "Did this actor do as he was directed?" The answer was No. The director then proceeded to inform the 'extra' to accompany the A.D. and collect his time. The 'extra' then proceeded to make a scene. He was ultimately escorted from the set.

I wonder if that actor learned his lesson or even work after that. I am not saying that directors are always correct, but if you are given direction or asked to do a scene a certain way, by all means DO IT! If you have something you think may add, express your idea if appropriate, but the bottom line is, directors are there to direct. DO YOU JOB and follow directions.

Cold Reading

I have heard many say that they don't like or dread cold readings. They can be a bit frightening. Still there are ways to overcome that. (No, it is not imaging those who are listening to you in their underwear.)

First, remember that your voice is one of the instruments that you use in this job. To improve your voice and cold reading skills read out loud.

Sound simple huh! Well it is and it isn't. When you read out loud you should listen to yourself. Some people use a tape recorder or video recording. Unless your equipment is top rate, the sound you will hear when you play back is not very good. Additionally, you can't use a recorder when actually doing a cold read. Better to learn to hear yourself with out machinery. Learn to adjust your voice levels, the pitch of your voice and the speed at which a thing needs to be said. Practice using your voice and reading just the same as you would practice the piano, flute or any other instrument.

What should you use to practice. ANYTHING that is WRITTEN!! I have been known to practice reading the newspaper or magazine or even cereal boxes. The point it learn to read out loud. Learn the correct way to pronounce any word. Sometimes there are multiple ways to say any one word. Get comfortable enough that the unexpected does not throw you.

Personally, cold reading for me has become an easy task. I find I truly enjoy it. So the next time you have to cold read, relax, have fun. You have done your 'homework' and the next voice you hear on the screen or radio may be yours.

How others use your talent

Let's face it. Unless you are your own boss, others are going to be making use of your talent. It is called a job. You do the work, they pay your wages. Sounds simple. Now let's take a look at the reality.

For an actor, you will many times be called upon to use your talent for no monetary gain. This is the case for community theatre, being background in commercials, you get the idea. You choose to do this to build your resume and make contacts.

Then you finally get to the point where you are paid for your work. Many times you again work for little or nothing, but you get the experience, contacts and building your resume.

There will be times when you will have employers who love what you do, they make money, but you will be treated as less than special. It is a reality, whether you are an actor or any other worker. At that point you will need to decide if what you are receiving is worth being treated poorly. Make the choice. There is nothing wrong with your choice, it is the one for you. Be careful, however, when complaining. If you complain about a situation that you have chosen to remain in, it will probably get you labeled as someone who is difficult to work with.

If you have chosen to leave, then you may state your opinion, but be careful about continuing to complain. Those who work in the industry do not like those who just complain or find fault. You are the one who makes the choice. Be adult and live with it.

It is a great job, enjoy it whatever your choice. Most times people will treat you fairly, help you grow your career and just plain be great to work with. Don't dwell on the others, just be aware and make the best of what you have and what you choose to do.

Not performing

Have you ever watched those "Z" movies, you know the ones that are so bad you watch because you can't believe they were even made. Well, try watching them again and this time pay attenton to the performances. Bet you know they're acting.

That is not the way it is done!

How about that speech you heard. You could tell they were following their notes, or saying the words they rehearsed with not a bit of finesse.

That is not the way it is done!

I spoke about preparation. Well, if you know your work well enough you can relax and make it natural. It really will make all the difference in the world about the way you are accepted. Think about it! Would you rather watch a movie where you can't tell the actors are acting? How about the salesman who really believes what he is saying, even if it is a 'set' speech? Don't forget the speaker who speaks with passions and confidence, hey bet you believe him/her.

The key is to perform without letting them know you are. Simple concept, but it does require work. So what do you want to be?

getting ready

Many people think that preparing for a role on stage, screen or even that big speech is difficult. I would disagree. It is hard but not difficult.

What do I mean by that? Well, you see preparing is just answering questions about who you are, where are you, what are you doing, when is it happening and how does it affect you. Sounds like English class doesn't it. Well, answering those five questions will place you where you need to be at any point in a script or speech. That is not difficult. The problem is many of us don't want to take the time to do the prep work. That is the hard part, taking the time and really digging into what is needed.

If you understand what you are after, where you want to go, how you plan to get there, etc. You see how using the who, what, when, where and why/how can make a difference. So the next time you tackle a role or prepare for the big speech, take the time to work through and understand. It will go a long way toward getting you where you want to go.